I am a clumsy person. Not just a little bit clumsy either. I am like the definition of clumsy. I can trip over absolutely nothing at all. Surprisingly I have never broken anything...I choose to forget the time I broke my toe when I ran into a door. So, I guess I am pretty lucky since I never get seriously hurt...or at least I usually don't get seriously injured.
Anyways, I have gotten pretty used to my clumsiness, as have my friends. Although I still get teased endlessly when I fall over my own feet or simply lose my balance when I am standing completely still. They understand my need to watch my feet when I walk (especially on stairs...), and they don't make a big deal out of it.
Now, because I am so clumsy, I don't play any sports...I'd rather not have everyone watching me when I trip and fall. I also try to stay away from things that might otherwise put me in danger. Sharp objects, for example, are always handled with care. I also usually avoid things with wheels (i.e. skates, bikes, and skateboards). But I don't always use my common sense. Sometimes I like to challenge myself and see if I can do something without tripping, or falling, or hurting myself. And it's times like those when I realize the true extent of my clumsiness.
So, I was spending a normal day with my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) outside of his condominiums. We were enjoying the nice weather a couple weeks before school was going to be over. I was perfectly content with both my feet on the ground, but he, on the other hand, wasn't. So, while I waited in fear, he went inside to get his skateboard.
He doesn't usually skateboard either, but that didn't stop him from thinking he was good enough to not wear a helmet (not to mention he has trouble finding helmets that fit). Since he didn't wear a helmet, I went without one too, which was a big mistake. So, he messed around on the skateboard without much success at doing tricks, but he managed to stay on the board and he didn't have blood gushing from his head or anything, so I assumed it was safe for me to try: another big mistake.
I placed the skateboard in front of me on the concrete and took a deep breath. I slowly placed one of my ragged Converse on the back edge of the board (anyone with any common sense could see the mistake in this) and didn't even have time to get out a "$&*#" before I flew backwards. My head hit the ground hard and everything went black for a couple seconds, but besides for the gentle throbbing in the back of my head, I was okay. However, I couldn't actually see what was going on back there. Obviously, my boyfriend could, and he freaked out. Unknown to me, I was bleeding quite profusely out the back of my head. Luckily his mom was home, so once I managed to calm him down, I got him to lead me inside (I was still unsteady on my feet). The bleeding slowed down after a couple hours and I convinced him and his mom that I didn't need stitches (mostly because I didn't want my hair shaved off). I vowed to never step foot on a skateboard again.
That was a couple months ago and I've managed to stay in one piece since then (once betraying my vow and letting my friend talk me into trying to skateboard again, which I did for a minute while holding his hand very, very tightly). If I do for some crazy reason have the urge to skateboard again, I'm going to make sure to wear a helmet. I have enough trouble moving without the added danger of a skateboard.
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3 comments:
This is both an account of an accident and a lesson learned the hard way. Okay, so now that we've gotten that straightened away, let's get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?
The only thing that I think needs improvement upon is your tone. I know this is a personal narrative, but it almost sounds too informal. Also, you use "so" a lot.
But I do really like your word choices (and the part about Chris not being able to find any helmets that fit is fat head).
i thought this was leading to Curran tackling you into a pool and how you lost your balance trying to hit him...hahaha
Your buddies' comments clearly back up your tendency toward accident! Your narrative is highly entertaining and has a good dose of tension--it's clear that you will hurt yourself before the narrative finishes.
Wolf's suggestion that you focus on your tone is a good one--though hard to implement. Limiting your use of "so" is a practical solution, and focusing on how to show us the events rather than tell us that they occurred (look at what Dillard does in "The Chase," for example) will add interesting details. You might also start by saying that your friends no longer pay attention to your having to look at your feet and go to the clumsy explanation from there.
Nice work.
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